Hello Dear Students, Today I am including a copy of a quick email I jotted down this morning for a client, since some of you may find it helpful. Her story is old. She is wanting more from a man then he is giving her. He "says" he loves her, but doesn't act the way she would like him to. So she is in pain. And doesn't know what to do. This is my quick reply to her. Why not just bring the focus to yourself and increasing your own inner wisdom? You are far too focused on him. Watch yourself being focused on him, watch how it makes you feel, and gently return your energy to taking care of your own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and (re) actions. Tell yourself that for one week when you notice your thoughts about him causing you pain, you will consciously change the energy by surrounding him with light. And surround yourself with light also. Surround him with blue light and then white, and the same for yourself. Blue is protection--and white is expansive.
He only has power over you (in your mind) because (a) you want something from him, and (b) you disagree with what IS. Your mind (ego) is telling you that it knows (a) what is best for you (it doesn't) and (b) it knows more than the Universe. How can it? Tell yourself you will practice surrendering into the moment, letting go of the past, with no thought or wish of the future. You may have to do this hundreds of times a day. In this case, the angels are always adamant: if you have to do something a thousand times a day; do it.
Your pain (about him) is not new. It is old. He cannot heal it, no matter what he does. Even if he is perfect, the pain will eventually return. Do not give the pain power. When you act from pain you can only increase pain. Just observe the pain. Let it be. It is old pain. Not new. There is no new pain. There is only old pain growing older every moment.
It is a great burden to demand that another person heal our pain. No one in their right mind wants to assume that burden. Notice how useless your thoughts about this situation are. That, in itself, would be a healing. Notice your thoughts telling you what to think and feel.
It is not about him. It is just an event. You are putting the painful meaning into it. The event itself just is.
Remember that light attracts light. From the angelic point of view we are all 100 per cent responsible for our own experience.
You have an opportunity here to go deeper and higher and become freer. It is not easy. As the angels always say, they promise a clear and simple way, not an easy way.
When you are confused and do not know what to do, do nothing. At least take no outer action. Just resolve to be with what is happening inside you. Be brave. Do not look to another to heal your inner pain. Watch your mind creating all these scenarios of the way you "think" things should be. Notice that it is your own mind that creates the pain--or rather, your insistence on believing the stories of the mind. What if those stories are wrong? Can you really trust your mind? Isn't this a battle of wills going on (except the heart never battles)--ego battles against the heart, against the higher will. Ego masquerades as someone who wants (and knows) what is best for you. But all ego wants is to keep you in darkness and ignorance--which is pain. Pain is ego's best friend. Pain is the ego's life.
Yes! Be your own best friend! Use your intelligence to discern the truth of the stories your mind tells you. Good storytellers, like angels, mystics, poets, and saints, always tell the truth, even if the story they are telling is not true. The human mind, on the other hand, never tells the truth, even if the story it is telling is true. Therefore discrimination is vital if you are to stay on the path of love and acceptance.
Indira, how grateful I am that I stopped by the classroom today to read this message. I only wished I'd read it years ago. I will do my best to try and live by this message.
ReplyDeleteHello dear classmate,
ReplyDeleteYou will have this for your future relationships.
My sponsor in Alnon years ago gave me some advice when I was going thru a rough time with my husband, who I loved and still love very much, but I still had soooo many of my own issues that they interferred with my happiness and our relationship even tho we really loved each other.
She said that next time I found myself looking at him and judging him harshly and thinking judgemental thoughts about him, she suggested that instead, I could "pray for his highest good". I began doing that and it lifted such a burden off my shoulders. It left me more free to love him. And it helped to free me from judging him so much.
Here is an example of how it used to be: My husband would innocently sit down in the recliner to rest after we'd cleaned up the dinner dishes. I would look over at him and judge him for not being "enough" in whatever area.. like not eating healthy enough, or something else would annoy or irritate me about him, and I would have to catch myself being hateful like that, and say to myself and the universe.. "I pray for his highest good". I was amazed how it shifted the energy and my focus. It was life changing.
And as I just re-read Indira's post, I am thinking that praying for his highest good is like surrounding him with light in that it changes the energy.
Love,
Mary