Remember...

 

On Death and Dying...

Dear Students,

A student wrote to me regarding the death of her father. There has always been conflict with her family. She did not know her father was ill from Covid and had died in the hospital, so she did not see him. Her mother wrote to her that she should not attend the funeral, so this student is asking what she should do. This is my response to her.  

Dear ____

Of course, it is a decision only you can make deep in your heart.

He is your father. His life and his death are between you and him...and God. No one else.

The past — is past. Whatever letter your wrote, even that is past. The present is now. If your family wants to hold onto the past — that is their misfortune.

YOU can choose to live now. You do not have to be bound by the past, even your own. The past has already been burned in the fire of time.

Your mother's letter to you does not come from her heart, which always seeks love and unity, but from her mind.

YOU do not have to live from your mind, except at a practical level.

There will be reactions among the family if you attend the funeral service. If you attend, can you be strong enough within yourself to not react to their reactions in a way that will bring you down?

Can you simply attend with dignity and love because you feel it is the right thing for you?

Most important is to avoid regret. The mind is very good at causing regret. Regret is useless because the past is the past. If you don't attend the funeral, will you feel regret later?

A funeral is simply a social function where people come together— because death is so final, so hard — and the living must find ways to deal with it. That is the significance of a funeral — to help people deal with their grief, say farewell, support each other, and move on. It's not for the dead, but for the living.

It is unlikely that you will feel supported by your family. So going to the funeral must be because you choose to take your place as the eldest child — because it is your place. You can claim your place — no matter what anyone says.

Do what brings peace to your heart and soul.

This is your father. His death is a completion of your soul journey together on earth. His spirit is free now, on his new journey. You can honor your soul journey with your father no matter what.

Do not let your family make this important decision for you. Do not let outer circumstances tell you what to do (except at practical levels). Use this time to enter into your heart and soul to find what is right for you.

You do not need their permission to tell you what to do. You do not have to please them. You must only be pleasing unto God. When you please God, you are pleased. 

Angels live by no prescribed rules. Angels do not need rules to govern them, because angels are governed by love. Angels are not trying to please anyone. Angels know their being is pleasing to God. This is all an angel needs to know. Angels are free and spontaneous because they do not have to decide if what they are going to do or say will please you. Angels are completely open because angels have nothing to hide.

If you do travel, travel safe...because of Covid. Wearing a mask at the funeral will help keep you safe from Covid, and protect others — and it may also help keep you safe emotionally. 

I am sorry for your father's illness and death without you by his side.

With deepest love, as always,

Indira

Fire Meditation

This is from your school lesson: Relationships, which some of you have read by now and some of you will read it in a future lesson Here is an important meditation from that lesson, which you might like to read and practice—even if you do it only in imagination. The first paragraph under Coming Into Harmony In All Your Relations (below) is important to understand. I am posting this now for all of you, since relationships comprise a vital part of life on earth and your happiness.

Questions You May Want To Ask

(1) Are my words and actions routinely those of a foolish or a wise person?
(2) Do I spend more time perpetuating arguments and conflicts than I do resolving them?
(3) Is my goal to win or to effectively communicate, no matter what the outcome?
(4) Am I willing to give up trying to control other people’s stories about me? 
(5) Am I willing to experience peace in all my relations?

The answers to these questions may help you become more aware of both your strengths and weaknesses and bring more peace to your relationships.

Coming Into Harmony In All Your Relations

It is not necessary to have another person’s permission, physical presence, goodwill, or agreement in order for you to experience inner peace. Healing and resolution can take place completely within you! You are that free!

Yes! When you cannot come to terms with another person, despite your best efforts, you can still find inner resolution! The following meditation can help you heal relationships, particularly when another person is unavailable, unwilling, or unable to work things out with you. You may choose to practice this meditation with someone who is alive now or who has passed on. It's can be useful to practice before discussing a difficult topic with someone. You may then find that the issue simply resolves itself, or at least that you are able to converse calmly, without a strong emotional charge. You may work with any problem or situation, in which case, change the words to suit the situation.

Please be open to letting go of any preconceived idea of what healing should look like. Your idea may or may not be part of the greater picture. If you are busy with your own ideas, you may miss the resolution right before your eyes. Can you be open to the possibility that healing may have nothing to do with what you think should happen? It takes courage to be open to such a possibility, because egos have very strong opinions. It is threatening for egos to let go of thoughts and ideas, because egos are defined by these. The fire meditation is not about trying to impose your ideas over what is—it is about Seeing what IS. You are simply invited to show up and be available for healing.  Higher Conscious knows what you need. The small mind knows only what it wants. When you show up and make yourself available for healing, all the angelic and cosmic forces of the universe show up for you. 

Conscious Ritual—Fire Meditation Conscious Ritual is a way to honor yourself. There is a place within each human being that responds to the magic of fire, of ritual, of a special context within which to heal.  Make your fire ritual as sacred as you are. Follow your own pace and stay with each step for as long as you need to before moving on to the next one.

For this exercise you will need a candle, a quiet place, and most importantly a willingness—be willing to give the whole matter into the care and keeping of the angels. It is nice, though not essential, to practice this Meditation in a darkened room, to avoid distractions. You may also practice it within imagination, but actually doing the meditation will give you a deep healing experience. It's your choice. Burn fragrant incense if you like. If you have an appropriate setting you may choose to build a fire circle under the night sky.

There are two parts to this meditation. The second part of the meditation is for expanded healing, once you have resolved and come into acceptance with What IS, in your first meditation. You are encouraged to repeat the first meditation as often as necessary until you come to a point of inner healing and acceptance. This may happen right away. If the pain or anger is very deep, you may need to repeat it many times. When you feel complete with Part I, move on to Part II.

Fire Meditation Ritual: Part I

Step 1: Prepare you space with a candle and a comfortable private pace to sit.

Step 2: Enter into the safety of your private sanctuary. Gather yourself into the stillness of your heart. Consider your holiness. Silently light the candle within your sacred space. Center yourself. Breathe in the light of the fire. Let its warmth and power fill you. Observe the flame dancing before you. Let yourself experience gratitude for the magic of fire that has enchanted and served humankind for so long as warmth, as fuel, as light, and as ritual. Let yourself feel safe in the presence of the fire—safe to be soft, vulnerable, and open.

Step 3: Think of a relationship that you would like to heal. In your mind’s eye, picture the other person as clearly as you can. If you are not sure on whom you want to focus, observe the flame and wait to see who appears. Gaze into the flame and allow the image of the person to manifest before you. Let yourself see the color of that person's eyes, the shape of the person's face. When the image is clear, when you feel ready, look deeply into that person’s eyes. Give yourself permission to safely experience whatever arises within your consciousness.

Thoughts come. Thoughts go. Breath remains. You remain. Safe and serene. You are the eternal sky through which clouds pass. Clouds come. Clouds go. Sky remains, unaffected by transitory movements in consciousness.

The fire burns. Let it burn through your thoughts, body, and emotions, burning away the past, burning away the future, leaving only now . Let the strong radiant energy of the fire burn through you, purifying and cleansing. Breathe in its energy. Let healing warmth and relaxation infuse every cell of your being.

Step 4: Now ask the angels to let you see this person or situation at the individual ego or personality personality level. Ask that their flaws and weaknesses, the limitations of their ego be shown to you—not so that you might judge or condemn—but so that you may learn, grow and understand how to protect yourself. Ask that anything you need to know be revealed to you.
  
Give yourself permission to experience whatever is between you and the other person, without thinking you must control, direct, or change anything. Let whatever feelings arise—arise. Do not fear feelings, just notice them. If fear arises, notice that. Acknowledge feelings and let them pass through you and away. Your only task is to gaze into the light of the candle, breathe, and experience what is, whatever is.

Breathe through whatever feelings and thoughts arise. Be present with yourself and your experience. Be present for yourself. If there is something you think you need from this person, maybe now is a good time to ask. If there is something you think you need to give to this person, maybe now is a good time to offer it.

Step 4: Stay with process for as long as you need to. If it becomes too intense, consciously breathe and relax. If you feel you cannot complete this process right now, let yourself stop. Return to it later, but be sure to start from the beginning. Tell yourself: I am safe. I am protected. I am surrounded by the healing love of angels. Just keep breathing through this experience, remembering you are safe. You are in control. You can stop anytime. The other person or situation is not in control of you.

Step 5: When you feel complete, thank the fire for its service. Thank the other person for showing up. Thank yourself. Thank the angels for their assistance.

Please repeat this meditation as often as you need to, until you feel ready to go on to the next meditation. Take your time and do NOT try to complete Part II until you are sure you have worked through your feelings in Part I and come to a sense of inner resolution and safety. Then let Part I gently lead you into Part II.

Fire Meditation Ritual: Part II

You may now choose to repeat the entire Part I first and let it move you gently into Part II. Otherwise, repeat Steps 1-3  then begin Part II, using the same image of the person or situation you were working with in Part I.

When you feel ready, open, and receptive, invite the energy of Unconditional Love to surround you, this person, and the situation. Say this prayer: “Dear Angels, I do not know what Unconditional Love is. I do no not know what Love is. Please help clear my mind of all wrong thoughts about love so that I may know Divine Love—Love without expectations and demands—the Love that is always here. Thank you.”

Step 1: When you feel ready, open, and receptive, invite the energy of unconditional love to surround you, this person, and the situation. As you continue looking into this person’s eyes, begin to see the light that comes from God shining through. See the love that comes through from God shining there. If you cannot see these yet, pretend that you do. See any problems or pain between the two of you as nothing more than clouds—wisps of smoke. Passing by. Passing away. Insignificant next to the unconditional love that surrounds and fills you.

This is a love that needs no action, a love that simply IS. You do not have to do anything to express this love. It surrounds you in the warm light of the fire. It fills you with peace. You can see this peace shining through the eyes of the person before you. You can feel it in the firelight. You can experience it within you. It is you. Remain here for as long as you like, letting the fire of Unconditional LOVE burn through you, burning away any pain, burning through any anger, burning away everything that is not you, not Love.

When you feel complete, thank the fire for its service. Thank the other person for showing up. Thank yourself. Thank the angels for their assistance.

You are welcome to repeat this process as often as necessary. Please do not be discouraged if you find that you must repeat these meditations many times before healing feels complete. If you stay focused on your intention to heal and be healed, healing will come. Remember that reading the meditations with the intention to heal is healing in itself. Doing the fire meditation offers a deeper dimension of healing. It means making the effort to show up for yourself in a very real way. The small place inside you responds when you show up for yourself with unconditional love.

Healing

Healing often happens in layers, like peeling an onion. Instead of becoming discouraged when you find another layer, be grateful that you are moving closer to your Center where no healing is needed, because here you are whole. In wholeness—holiness—there is no separation, no enemy, no friend, no animosity, and hence no forgiveness is necessary.

Expanding your Fire Meditation Experience

1. Practice with another person: If you are in relation to someone who is willing, you may like to practice this meditation together. In this case, place the candle between you, sit across from each other, and gaze into the fire. When you are ready, look into each other’s eyes, and follow the procedure outlined above.

2. Practice with yourself: You may also practice the meditation by visualizing yourself in the light of the flame. In this case, imagine that you are looking into your own eyes, willing to see yourself as you are, willing to heal the conflicts you have with and within yourself.

Copyright ©1997/2018 Judith Ann Parsons, MSW aka Indira
May not be shared or copied in any way, except for your personal use, without written permission from the author. If you want to share it, please request permission to do so. Thank you for honoring my work, as I honor yours.

The Light side of the Moon

Okay, so it's early morning here on the dark side of the moon -- or at least in Jamestown, NY where I am right now. It's still dark outside though. The snow of the past few days (there was a blizzard the day I flew in from Europe on Dec. 12) is melting and the green grass is appearing again. The wandering deer from the nearby woods will be happy.

Sitting here with my computer about to write a morning school message, I was distracted by a request on my computer to take a personality test. It had beautiful pictures of nature to look at, so I succumbed. Here is what it said about my personality:

"You are as rosy as a red rose, and you offer a breath of fresh air wherever you go. You radiate warmth, and people are attracted to your sensitive, calming energy. You have your feet on the ground and understand what it means to have patience -- as in difficult situations your soothing energy always offers a helping hand to those in need. Soft and gentle, people fall in love with you very easily and you should recognize your calming powers in this world."

Well, people who do not want to live in the truth will most likely not fall in love with me very easily. The darkness (ego) never falls in love with anything but itself, and that isn't real love. 

So when people who used to "love" you, even your best friends, even family members -- when you find others suddenly avoiding you for no reason, maybe getting angry or upset with you -- finding ways to stay away from you or cut the intimacy -- just know that this can happen as you get closer to the light. Keep being kind and polite to everyone. You will find new friends and companions coming into your life -- those people who are as dedicated to the light as you are.

Relationships

Relationships are important to all of us, right? Yes, because we live within relationships everyday. The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Here is a link about relationship that are formed in unhealthy avoidance. You may find it interesting. Do you fit the pattern, either as someone who avoids intimacy, or has relationships with people who avoid intimacy? Either way -- you end up in the same situation -- without a close and intimate loving relationship. This happens most often with partners, but it can also happen with other people in your life. You can read more about this, if you like: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-29315/why-you-should-never-date-an-avoidant-what-that-actually-means.html