Response to Student March 12

Good Morning Students, The following email is a response to a student who had questions about his patient. Although I have removed identifying information, the response should make sense to you. Click below to read the rest! Perhaps you will find something of value you in it for yourself.
We each have a self-image we want to believe in. We each do not want to look at the basic ego-nature that has no goodness—yet only by looking at that, can we begin to be free from it. This is painful, and so most people won’t do it.

The ego nature is not who we are. We are the light, the beauty, the Truth—but we have to travel through our own darkness (the dark forest of ego) to get there. Your patient avoids facing his own fears and pain by focusing on “doing good” for others. This is dangerous to his health—as you can see by his repeated illnesses. I don’t say all illness is caused or created in this way—I don’t believe that—but in the case of your patient, his focus obstructs his healing because energy that needs to be inward directed is outward directed.

Were he to let go of the need to try and control life on the outside, he could begin to act without the sense of desperation he now acts with—the underlying anxiety: he fears that he is not the good person he is trying so hard to be….

and, of course, so long as the ego or false self is directing the show in any way (as it does for all of us)—then we are not in that respect acting from true goodness, but from the ego trying to be good….

ultimately the ego cannot be good, since the ego does not exist—it is a conglomeration of thoughts, ideas, a mere belief system….

and so your patient fears this knowledge—or his ego does—and uses whatever he can to continue to keep his idea (belief system) of himself alive—

which is keeping the ego self alive—

and unfortunately that is what kills the spirit—

the irony being that were he to let go of his self-created image of being good (i.e., being accepted, loved, valued by others) that he would find his true goodness; an incredible sense of relief would come over him and he’d be able to relax. He’d give up the struggle to be liked, and begin to like himself. All the energy that goes out in an attempt to uphold the false nature would go within and he’d have the energy he needs to heal his spirit, which could ultimately lead to healing of his body.

His ankles swelling, while certainly having physical causes—at the spiritual level—is an extreme tiredness with continuing to go forward in the way he has — it is his spirit talking to him, telling him, stop, rest where you are, listen to me, you can just stop and be, you do not have to be everything to everybody—this is an exhausting way to live. It is his spirit saying to him that his present way of acting can no longer support him —it never could, never did; it only supported the false ego nature. This is taking his vital life force that his own precious being needs for his own life and healing.

And of course there is a positive aspect to his giving to others—which is that positive actions do indeed invite back positive consequences. His internal spirit is evolved and understands the importance of caring for others—

but the ego being what it is, ego jumps in and takes over even the most altruistic actions and claims them as its own—at least where we live in unconsciousness—and we do not even realize that a false invader has taken over—and is using our precious energy to build up its own false nature.

As the angels always say, what you are not aware of controls you; when you become aware of something, it begins to lose control over you.