On being together....

Dear Ones,
Let's talk for a moment about relationships, specifically committed relationships. A committed relationship can, of course, be between two people of the same sex, so anything I say about two people of the opposite sex can be applied to people with same sex relationships. But for our purposes, I will assume male/female relationships.

Relationships are often painful--although it is not really the relationship itself that is painful--it is always something inside us. The problem is always where the pain is, and if the pain is in you, guess where the problem is?

When a couple experiences a lot of pain in their relationship, they often go into very mechanical reactions--primitive biological reactions: Fight. Flight. Or paralysis.

We can see these reactions in animals. The animal either stays and fights, runs way, or gets paralyzed with fear because it doesn't know what else to do. What do you do? What is your most common reaction?

As human beings, we have other possibilities. One of these is to talk about the problem and try to find harmonious solutions. Unfortunately, women usually like to talk more than men do--not always--there are exceptions, but usually. 

What we have to remember as spiritual students is that the ego (false self) thrives on drama. If you find yourself in negative, hurtful conflict with another person, fighting, unable to get along, then something that is not your heart--something that is not the other person's heart--has taken over the relationship, like a parasite, and is living off your energy. Something dark and negative.

In this world, so many marriages end in divorce. This means people are forgetting about commitment and taking flight. Mostly, they just take flight into another relationship and start the flight or fight or paralysis all over again.

Human beings have the possibility to rise above all mechanical reactions. But it takes a lot of work. It takes a spiritual commitment. It means understanding that you are a spiritual being living out your life in a physical body. You are here for something higher. You are here to make contact with something higher than your ordinary thinking.