Our Thoughts, Including When They Are Dark

I was reading thru some older posts in the open classroom yesterday, and I read a reply from Indira to one of Ruth’s posts mentioning that it is OK to share our thoughts here in the open classroom, including when they are dark, because this is a way to bring them into the light of awareness. Thank you for allowing this Indira. I have an awful burden on my heart that I have struggled with for a long time, and I am hoping it will help to bring it out into the light, here with you, and the angels, and the other classmates. 
Last night we had a bitterly cold strong north wind blow in with temperatures dropping to 15 degrees fahrenheit, and a wind chill much lower than that. Although I took comfort knowing that my family and all my pets were safe and warm inside the house, I thought about all the little wild animals who may be outside suffering in the cold and the wind with no way to get warm. And worse than that, I think about the domesticated animals who are forced to sleep out side on the cold hard ground without adequate bedding, and who are chained up or caged up and left out in the elements. I try hard to force this from my mind, but I know it is a fact. And I know it is real. I know they say “only love is real”, but I know the suffering of these animals is real. They have physical bodies that suffer. It is a fact. 

As I try to force these images out of my mind, I get angry with God, and I think to myself, “If I was God, I would not allow these beautiful little animals to suffer like this.” Even if God made sure that the animals, who are indiginous to places where the temperatures drop to -30 or -50 degrees below zero fahrenheit, have thick fur coats like the polar bears, or thick layers of fat like the penguins, humans have thoughtlessly and cruely moved animals out of their indigineous homes, so they are displaced into areas where they were never intended to have to survive, and they suffer terribly. Cattle are one example. I am angry that they forced to live in areas like Montana, and further north by greedy ranchers. The cattle are forced to birth their calves out on the open range with no protection from the wind. It seems to be even worse, when the humans intervene and take the cattle into the barns and “pull” the calves with cold metal chains from the uterus, instead of letting the cows birth in their own timing. These things bother me at night when I hear the cold north wind blowing. I

turn away from news stories and other stories of animal cruelty. I cannot watch them. But now and then I am exposed to a story of cruelty, mostly by over hearing people talking in some public place, or in reading a book about someone’s life and they throw in some story when I am not expecting it. At these times I think “If I was God, I would stop this experiement on earth. It has gone horribly wrong, and I will not allow this animal cruelty against my innoncent loving little creatures for one moment longer. Nothing can be worth this. If humans want to be cruel to one another, that is one thing, but I will not allow cruelty to my animals any longer. Maybe I should put man on a planet with just people and plants, but no animals will be sent there, because I will not allow animals to be abused any longer.” 

I feel very badly when I have these thoughts against God. But I cannot understand how he can allow this for his own little animals who are innoncent and at the mercy of humans. They should not have to be subjected to us humans. I know they teach us about unconditional love and other lessons, but isn’t there some other way that God could teach us these same lessons without having the little animals subjected to our cruelty? Because of my compassion, I cannot stand for it to go on. There has to be another way. And I want to talk to God about it when I go to heaven. Meanwhile, I have these thoughts very often. I hope I haven’t hurt anyone in revealing these thoughts. Love, Mary