My dear classmates, today I made a wonderful experience and I want to share it with you.
I went to work by car and when I left the garage I thought what a beautiful and warm day it is today and I was so happy -
at the same moment I heard a voice in my head, saying, that always when I feel "too" happy something bad will happen.
In the same moment I knew that it was not really my thought,
I could feel my mother, more than my father and maybe the generation growing up during the 2. world war, I am not sure, but there were people behind my mother. And then knewing where these thoughts come from they left my body.
(Today is my 21. day without eating, we are drinking fruit juices, tea, water, sometimes buttermilk and I think it has to do with our cleaning).
There was always a sentence in me telling me not to be too happy, now I want to know what is behind my limited thoughts.
It is so amazing that I'm reading so often about "being happy - being you" and there was the whole time this sentence in me and I didn't see it.
It was a great present and I love these moments and thank you that you share it with me.
Love, Antje
Thank you Antje for sharing this wonderful-AWARE moment with us.I love that you have the discipline
ReplyDeleteto do a 21 days!!!juice-cleaning.
Have a great weekend
ursula
Antje, thanks for the inspiration of your cleansing fast. And the insight into the voices...there are so many unconscious "voices" that rule our lives. I am happy to hear of your moment of awareness. A little light went on inside you. A little less darkness. Thank you for writing about that experience. It says so much.
ReplyDeleteDear Ursula and dear Judy,
ReplyDeletethank you for your answers - yes, I love these aware moments and thank you Judy for the idea "a little light more - a little less darkness".
So I am looking forward to the next light!
(And today is the 25th day!!!)
Love to you,
Antje
Dear Antje,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that you had your aware moment. I am happy that when that thought comes in to your head in the future, you can know it is OK to feel happy.
Your story helped me because I often have that same sentence in me and I have had it since I was in first grade (or earlier) because in my religion I was taught that it was good to suffer, and bad to feel joy because I was a sinner, we were taught all humans are sinners, and we should spend our time feeling bad about what bad people we are. Oh my gosh, it is so sad to think I was taught this.
Your story will help me to remember not to believe this anymore and to know it is good to be happy and feel joy.
How are you feeling after your cleanse? How many days?
That is so true, Antje. I often sense/hear those voices inside my head too, trying to tell me how to think and feel and be. A good reminder, and good to know you were able to rise above those voices, into awareness. I am inspired by your words and juice fast.
ReplyDeleteButtermilk? Buttermilk!! I never imagined drinking buttermilk, especially for a fast. What does it do for you? I thought it tasted awful.
And, yes, Mary, I understand the whole sinner thing. A real negative affirmation! I like the way the school talks about our false or ego self, the darkness....that we are NOT! That is not our true nature. Happiness is our true nature and birthright.
My derar classmates,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, I didn't read your comments - now it is May - today is a beautiful day in Mainz -
thank you for your answers.
On the one side it feels good, that you know what I mean - on the other side I'm happy that we know now, that happiness is our true nature, thank you Kevin!
We made our cleanse 28 days. All in all I feel good, but it is the same like before - sometimes I eat too much - when it tastes so good, then I don't feel good, or I can't sleep well in the night. I'm not strong enough to eat only things my body needs, I love eating!!
And I also love these days without eating - only being.
I don't know, if "buttermilk" is the right translation - it is the german word "Buttermilch" (one minute later) my dictionary said it is the right translation - it tastes like "Kefir", it is a little sourish.
I like it - when I am eating I put blueberries in it.
Now it is strawberry time - I love them.
I send you red strawberry greetings!
Love from Antje
Hi Antje, yes, I know what buttermilk is. I just never drank any. Maybe I will be inspired to try some. I do know kefir. Yes, it is strawberry time here too. Nice to see you here. One thing I like about the school, even when I am away for awhile, when I drop by, there is always something new waiting for me here. Conversations don't disappear, they just wait here.
ReplyDeleteHi Kevin,
ReplyDeleteI like that: conversations don't disappear, they just wait here. It gave me a big smile
Monika
The deep blue sky has me conjuring up Indira's wonderful Gratitude recording...and her voice always inspires. Some voices chatter away constantly. Others emerge from present, past, future planes. Still others I put there as reminders. LOL I guess probably "I" put all of them there.
ReplyDeleteHello, everyone.
ReplyDeleteGreat conversation! At this time in my life, I have the privelege of learning to live with some very masochistic people. They just aren't happy unless they are miserable.
So, everyday I practice being happy anyway by doing things like noticing the beautiful BLUE SKY that Antje wrote about, and the breeze singing in the trees, and the sun sparking on the leaves, and the birds singing.
I built a medicine wheel in my backyard so I would have a special place to do ceremony and enjoy the beauty.
Thank you all for writing and sharing.
Love, Debra
Hello classmate,
ReplyDeleteYes, I know what you mean! Feeling gratitude for the beautiful blue sky, the breeze, the sun, the birds... all of that helps me to lift my vibration to joy. I laughed out loud when I read "I have the privelege of living with some very masochistic people"... because at the present time, I have the privelege of working with some masochistic people at work... and it isn't fun. So I do the same thing, try to rise above it and think of joyful and beautiful things, read my lessons, put my headphones on and listen to classical music, etc.
Love,
Mary Birdsongs
Good morning dear students, or good evening, depending on where you are as you read this. I just stopped by for a friendly visit, sharing the energy of all of you, feeling connected to something larger....the heart....that has brought us all together. I think about each one of you daily. And when I do, I see you surrounded with the love, compassion, and wisdom of the angels.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Indira, for your ongoing support, compassion, wisdom, and generosity. May the blessings you send us return to you manifold.
ReplyDeleteLove, Debra
Thanks all of you - and hello dear classmates and dear teacher!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the "deep blue sky" in my heart - our connection!
Love from Antje