QUESTION AND ANSWER

A student wrote:

"Remember, I once asked why I find no man who loves me? Now, I am since 3 Years in a partnership where I am mostly with my boyfriend day and night, 2-3 days alone. He loves me, but I have problems to be at ease and happy with this great success for myself because I never had a long-term relationship, only short affairs. I am afraid of myself being with my friend because I have problems with too much nearness. Why am I not happy, although I desired a relationship so long?"

Response:

The ego is filled with desires. We erroneously believe that fulfilling these desires is what leads to true happiness. In truth, the fulfillment of desire leads to temporary happiness.

The only true happiness is found by going beyond the desires of the mind, to the true Source of all happiness.

Everything in the outer world changes. Therefore, we cannot depend upon the outer world to bring us true and lasting joy.

You are afraid because you are living in the past and the future. This prevents you from being present with your boyfriend, as he is, as you are. You have a "bully" who lives inside you. This bully has one job - to make sure that you do not enjoy the present moment.

The bully is just an old habit that lives inside you.

Simply continue to read your lessons. This fills you with the inspiring, uplifting energy of the angels. This allows you to record over past impressions of lack, loss, fear, and limitation.

You do not have to "try" to get rid of anything. How can the ego get "rid" of itself? The ego will, in fact, resist trying to get rid of itself. The ego does everything it can to survive. And this is okay. This is the nature of ego. Simply watch the ego. Witness it. Writing is a wonderful way to increase your awareness of the ego and its games.

Remember: what you are not aware of controls you; when you become aware of something, it begins to lose control over you.

So, watch the ego. Get to know its games. You do not have to join the ego in its games of lack, loss, fear, and limitation.

Tell yourself the truth. What is the truth? You tell yourself, "I never had a long-term relationship." - and then you believe this - and act from this. But it is not true. You ARE having a long-term relationship!

The truth is that you are NOT afraid of too much nearness!!!! How do we know this is true? Because you HAVE nearness with him.....you are with him most of the time. You ARE experiencing and learning about intimacy. So, begin to tell yourself a NEW and more truthful story. "I am in a long-term relationship. I am experiencing nearness with my boyfriend. I am courageous because I spend so much time with him. I am learning what nearness is. There is no such thing as too much nearness...that is only a thought in my head. I have 2 - 3 days for myself."

Love and Light,
Indira & the angels